I decided to take a break from writing down my food intake and workout today! It was a good day! I need a break every now and then or else I feel like I obsess. It’s definitely good to keep motivated and on track, but it’s NOT good to start to feel anxious if you’re eating something and wondering whether or not you’ll remember to post it on tumblr. That’s when I knew I needed to take a break. And I’m glad I did! :) 

lol. And the WOD yesterday said that it was mainly for core, balance, and legs? I guess that just confirms the fact that I really do need to strengthen my arms!! 

Ahh! I just grabbed a bag of “power blend” trail mix from CVS as a snack because I was superrr hungry. It was a smallish bag, but I ate the whole thing. I just looked on the back of the bag and for one serving size, the calorie count was 160 calories. Too bad there were 5 servings in that bag! 800 calories! And 12g x 5 = 60 grams of fat! 

I should have known better! Nuts and dried fruit and dark chocolate are very calorie dense! Nuts. (hehe… like that double meaning there?)

Blech! Just discovered that I don’t really like sardines lol. Well, never hurts to try, right?

Warning: this is mostly a RANT. What is going on with meeee?! 

What I ate today (if I can remember): 

• Vanilla Stonyfield yogurt w/ granola
• Hot coffee
• Chocolate chip muffin from Dunkin Donuts (really, Courtney? that’s like 500+ calories and nutritionally vacant)
• Iced coffee w/ skim
• Falafel plate (3 fried falafel pieces, brown rice, beans, salad w/ mint dressing)
• Piece of dark chocolate
• Smartfood (and a LOT of it) for dinner (WTF?)
• Nestle ice cream sandwich (the kind with chocolate chip cookies on the outside)

My workout: 

• Idk why, but my knee hurts SO bad today. Like, I was having a hard time walking around work. Sooo I decided it would be a bad idea to work out and a great idea to eat ice cream instead. Great.

Really, though?? What am I DOING? I am so frustrated with myself. I usually eat like this when I’m lonely or depressed… but I don’t think I am?? And I’ve been staying up late at night, not sleeping well, for no reason. I don’t understand. AM I depressed? I have no reason to be! Am I bored? 

My stomach hurts. I’m tired. I feel like crap. I need to stop this. Sorry if anyone on tumblr is reading this rant, but I feel like that is the ONE thing I can do for myself, at least. If I’m going to do crap like this to myself, I’m going to write about it, goddamnit. I used to write in a journal. I did it for years. I miss it! I like being able to look back at my progress, or maybe more importantly, where (and why) I slipped up. 

Typing is faster than writing by hand and tumblr is fun, so I figure this is a great way to start journaling (in a way) again. Hope y’all fitblrs don’t mind. And if any of you have stories of bingeing or overcoming bingeing you wanna share, I would love to hear them. 

I’m going to take a deep breath (or a few), relax for a few minutes, read, and get a good, full night’s sleep. I’m going to forgive myself and move on. Tomorrow is a new day and it is going to be awesome. Plus, I have a SPARTAN RACE to get fucking FIT for!!!

…I HAVE to start training!! Admittedly, I have been slacking off with working out lately. :( 

You know what’s strange, though? Usually, when I slack off with my workouts, I also tend to not eat as healthy (more sugar, eating out more, mindless eating). But even though I haven’t been hitting the gym NEARLY as often as I should be, I’ve been eating very clean! 

I know it’s not the whole picture, but I’m still kind of proud of myself. It’s a small sign that I don’t have to approach everything with the “all or nothing” mindset. I’ve struggled a lot with that throughout my life (if I can’t go to the gym 7 days a week for 2 hours a day, then I shouldn’t go at all, right?! WRONG.).

But I think I’m getting the hang of this whole moderation thing. Maybe? :)

I’m perfectly imperfect. 

In my quest to transition to a plant-based diet this month, I tried hemp ice cream. There’s a great ice cream chain in my city that makes their ice cream locally, and they happen to also have hemp ice cream. 

I went with the Peanut butter Hemp flavor. It had chucks of peanuts in it and the flavor was kind of like how weed smells, if that makes sense? I don’t know how I feel about it yet. Still. I ate this hours ago lol. 

I would have it again, but I guess it just kind of had a strange after taste. Has anyone else tried hemp ice cream? Did you like it?

So if I know anything about my life, I know one thing for sure: I will be getting a dog as SOON as I have my own space and can afford it. When I daydream, I often think about what I might name my future pup. 

Today, as I was tumbling, this popped into my head: what if I named my dog “Nahma?” That way, when I told him to “stay,” I’d be saying, “Nahma, stay.” Get it? Nahma, stay… Nahmaste?

I’m some WAY cool yogi somewhere out there has also thought of this, but I have to say, I feel like a genius right now… :-D

Okay, it’s been a whole WEEK of not working out and I feel gross. I’m tempted to say that I’ll just wake up early and go tomorrow, but why not start today? And not later today, but RIGHT NOW?

Why am I still on tumblr?! Let’s dooooo this!! 

I’m going to the farmer’s market after work today! So excited to get all sorts of yummy, healthy, fresh, local veggies and things. :)

I think I might even buy some herbs! I bought a basil plant the other day, and I loved cooking with my own fresh herbs. Now I just want more! Cilantro, rosemary, thyme, parsley, sage? Hmm… 

I went on a streak last week of eating out WAY too much. Now that I’m back to cooking my own, fresh, healthy things, I’m feeling so much better. It’s a win-win… I feel lighter, and my wallet feels heavier! :) 

(Source: om-nom-tom)